It’s crazy to think that the last time I wrote here was over five months ago. A lot has definitely changed and yet, I am left still wondering.
Since 2015 made its entrance into our lives, I had been contemplating about things that have happened in my life and what it all meant. I was left with a hanging thought about the mystery of these “things” that have occurred and constantly is making its mark. I realized then that we will never get to know everything at one time and even when we think we will, it is inevitable that we never will. However, it is not that we will never know, it’s just that it has been kept as a mystery by Our Father. Something He tells us often… That we must just trust Him and the plans that He has for us. It doesn’t make any sense as I write this or if it’s coming out right. It’s what I am feeling at the moment. That everything is meant to be a mystery and that we have to wait patiently even if it is irritating or disturbing.
It’s funny that I mention disturbing. At the Friday Mass, our Parochial Vicar mentioned that God constantly disturbs us. Sometimes we can feel that God is annoying us however, He is merely disturbing us. Disturbing us in the sense that He wants us to set time for Him. That we must stop at some point in our life and just pay attention to Him for once instead of the daily musings of life or the countless distractions that surround us. I was trying to understand what disturbing meant. As I write this, I have likened this disturbance to our restless hearts. As Saint Augustine beautifully puts it, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” God constantly disturbs us for us to realize that we are made for Him and that the restlessness and busyness of this world is but a fleeting moment in which, at the end of the day, we must turn to back to Him and give Him all our cares. You can put yourself in the shoes of the Apostles and how often times they felt consumed by the world. Peter was caught up in earthly thoughts and how Jesus, who would fulfill God’s plan by the ultimate sacrifice of His life, Peter thought it impossible and that Jesus cannot die. It was a fleeting moment because Peter was in the right now and not looking at what lies ahead – the Salvation of Jesus, dying on the Cross for our sins.
A lot of us live for the right now and not so much for the plans God has for us. It’s not that we must get ahead of ourselves but rather, when we think of our future, it is by placing it all in God’s hands. It’s natural for us humans to have the tendency to fantasize or imagine our futures yet it can be dangerous if we don’t let God do His thing. Everything has a purpose and everything in our life happens for a reason. The things we feel, the things we do, the things we say, and things we think about are there for a reason. Whatever angle you look at it, there is a reason behind it. God dreams His dreams in us! BUT! Going back to our futures and how God must do His thing, each one of us, God has already made a special plan. FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US! Sometimes He diverts us into one direction in order for us to realize certain things and sometimes He decides to give us immense trials and tribulations. But in the end, it is for a reason. When He disturbs us and our hearts, He’s asking to turn back to Him and listen to Him. That’s the mystery of it all. Our futures may be shaped by the things we do in this moment yet, it shouldn’t define who we are as people.
God allows us to seek Him and to pray to Him, to let us share our dreams with Him. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Mt 7:7-8) Alongside this, in the recent visit of Pope Francis to the Philippines where he had a meeting with families, he mentioned St. Joseph and the sleeping statue he has where he places prayers and petitions underneath the head of St. Joseph so that he can dream about it and pray about it. He emphasized the need to dream and to love. It all goes side by side with one another. “When you lose the capacity to dream, you lose the capacity to love.” How I took this was that, if we stop dreaming, and just getting through each day with monotony, then we would be like robots not feeling anything. Our futures, our thoughts of the future, our hopes and dreams shape how we love and will love until the end. If we stop dreaming for others and not just ourselves, then what is there? When we dream and pray, we ask, seek, and find amazing things that God has for us. That mystery in everything, in every person, God tends to surprise you when you are caught off guard. It can be confusing because we can experience so many things today, and then it can make a complete 180 degree turn to something else. We tend have a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that, at some point we just scream and say, can I just get out of this right now? I can’t take it anymore! It is then that maybe, we’ve stopped dreaming, praying, listening, and trusting in God’s plan. Asking is easy, but waiting patiently is another.
I guess the point of this all, this mystery around us, the wonder and awe of what is around us is just God’s way of saying that we must sit tightly, patiently, and listen because He might be saying something to us or showing us something. Maybe a friend or loved one is telling us something that we have to hear or maybe we are telling our friend or loved one something they have to hear – something that maybe God wants them to hear. Are we really willing to listen? Often times, no. In this overcommunicated world, we have stopped listening. God has different ways of trying enter our hearts, His dwelling place. But are we willing to trust Him and let Him in? Are we willing to trust Him and the plans He has for us? It’s a scary thought right? It has to happen though.
At the end of this, something I myself am taking away from this reflection, this entry, is how the mystery of it all is placing our trust in the One. We get ahead of ourselves when we pray. Sometimes we expect so many things when God is trying to tell us, expect the unexpected. St. Joseph, the Most Chaste Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Foster-Father of Jesus did the same. Everything that happened to Him was unexpected yet God made sure that He gave him strength and perseverance. Sometimes we have to ask when we are disturbed and just let Him talk to us. God has so many things in store for us and at the same time, He lets us continue our daily life with the many crosses and trials we have to carry yet, He says it’s worth it. You are worth it. I am worth it. I love you and just trust Me that you will overcome it because He already has for you.
Now, no matter what we’re going through, the mystery of it all is, just to expect the unexpected. Completely put your trust in God that He can do all things because He strengthens us. We may fall but that doesn’t mean we can’t get back up again.